An old pair of maong pants: Priceless

I just shot the newest member of the cast of my ongoing human study project classified "mga taong grasa ng Dagupan" this morning.

After missing Marimar for about a month now, who mysteriously disappeared just like that, from her usual routine walks along Burgos-Extension-Tapuac road right before school started, I finally found a second female subject for this obsession.

Eva Tot, at least that is what she told me her real name to be, thus became the first "taong grasa" I spoke to.

I was on my way to work this morning (a rarity in my nocturnal schedule) toting my camera which I started carrying again after quite some time now since I haven't shot any of my forgotten friends lately...and suddenly, there she was...

She was sitting on our neighbor's front plant box...rummaging thru her earthly possessions when I spotted her. Nothing much really...a used Northern Cement bag filled with assorted foliage of some unknown species probably picked around the neighborhood and ordinary grass...a small spiral notebook and a pen...a yellow clutch bag and wallet...a Robinson's plastic bag filled with plastic bottles and probably filled with the rest of her dirty wardrobe...and a small bible.

Taking pictures of my forgotten friends was an idea which started more than two years ago. With a 70-200 lens, my fears of having an ugly unforgettable encounter was quite remote. After all, who could read the minds of these unstable members of society.

Talking to them WAS an entirely different matter. No matter how I convince myself that I should try make an attempt to somehow make contact with whatever is left of their inner minds, I chicken out at the last minute.

Once, I got too close for a tight shot of Simeon (I made this name up) during the last Bangus Festival. I didn't know he had radars underneath those camouflaged rags continuously monitoring "normal minds" if they strayed into his 1 square meter world. He gave me a cold cold stare, and wham! He gave me short chase, more of a dart really. Like a cobra, striking with the momentum of his hooded head on instinct. Luckily, the grip of my 30D sort of gave me a counter balance enough to maneuver me out of harm's way...

Picture, picture, I told her in my most casual voice as I removed the lens cap of my trusty 70-200. Cge lang, she nodded, an answer I didn't expect. Not bad for a start.

After a few laid-back "practice" shots, a technique we photographers use guaranteed to put any subject at ease, I started with a casual conversation... Ano pangalan mo? Not sure whether to use Pangasinan or Tagalog. Wala, she says without even looking at me. She was busy arranging and re-arranging her stuff in the white plastic bag with her right hand while holding her notebook and pen on the other. Ano ginagawa mo, I changed the subject. Nagsusulat, kung minsan nagbabasa, in a good Tagalog accent. She's not from here I assumed.

Ano pangalan mo, I repeated. Wala nga e. She said. Bakit wala? Sira daw ulo ko e, her eyes avoiding my camera. Sino naman ang may sabi nyan? I continued clicking. No answer. After a few more unsuccessful attempts, I dropped the subject.

Lets concentrate on the shot, moron. You're a photographer, not Cris Zuñiga. Smile naman dyan, I said since she never gave me an eye contact during the last 3 minutes. Bayad muna, she proposed. 20 pesos was her opening offer. Wala e, kinse pesos lang ang nandito, as I got some loose change from my pocket. Cautiously, (a flashback of the bangus man momentarily occured) I went near her, extending my arm with the coins to close the deal without giving her any chance to haggle, a technique I learned as a businessman..

She kept her part of the bargain and gave me a few, well, not exactly smiles. They were more of a mimic of me taking pictures of her using her hands as a camera, the sort of play kids do with an air camera. This is queer. Two months ago, I took real cool pictures of Moe from Mayanmar who did a stunning performance art like this during Tama '08 here in Dagupan.


And I went into short film mode. Clicking at around 2 to 3 frames a second. This is certainly much better than a smile. Syet, this will definitely look good with my collection. Pipo, my photography buddy, will give me another pat on my back.

Hmm.... After shooting about 10 to 15 encounters with my forgotten friends, I realized I was wrong. A bigger percentage of "normal" people I dealt with don't just keep their part of their bargains anymore, especially on money matters.

So ano ba talaga pangalan mo? Wanting to maximize my 15 pesos' worth. Wrong move. She went back to her stuff. She's good. Probably a better businesswoman during her "normal" times. Wala na akong pera e. That was the truth. Honest. I had a few more coins on my truck but I was afraid the short trip to get there and back might prematurely cut the encounter short. And I was having the time of my life!

Damit na lang, ung maganda ha, she said, and the most beautiful smile formed on her otherwise unwashed face. And instead of shooting, I just stared at her, half frozen. After my experiences in shooting street-dancing festivals, one of my favorite photography subjects, my finger almost never leaving my shutter button in case of a perfect moment, I was in freeze-mode! Damn. What was I doing? Hindi ka bisita! I can almost hear myself shouting at Renz, my photography buddy and "apprentice" during a paid shoot.

When I was able to compose myself, the f*@#n moment was gone! While thinking a million words to complete the phrase "this could've been ______", I sort of sunk into the pavement of my instant outdoor studio. (Incidentally, around 4 to 5 people in the neighborhood gave me a funny look during this fantasy shoot as they happened to pass by, not sure who was nornal and wasn't.)

Ok, back to reality. Pantalon na lang, I suggested. Wala ako damit pambabae e. After agreeing and somehow getting an old pair of maong pants to her, she was ecstatic. The pants was big, but she didn't care. She had another smile on her face. But somehow, I stopped clicking. Was this the moment us photographers feared? Being attached to the subject? Hell I don't know. She was probably 55 years old!

During the remaining minutes of this "chance" encounter, I finally squeezed out what her whole name was. Eva Tot. The surname was obviously made up but I accepted it. I also found out that her address was "kalsada". I also found out that she once had children....

The shoot lasted around 9 minutes, based on the time stamp of my digital files from the first to the last shot. The whole encounter was around 20 minutes, tho. What does that leave me with?

After stereotyping that "taong grasa" were dirty, useless and dangerous people, maybe I changed my mind. Eva probably had a deeper story to tell. Had I offered her GSM Blue instead of 15 pesos and pantalon, our outdoor set might have changed to an instant bar and who knows what our conversations might have led to.

Perhaps, she was a professor, an attorney, a hooker, or a politician (yup, probably a politician). A once normal person in our terms (I wasn't referring to the politician). Probably she had encountered many difficult downs in life. Until one day, probably she gave up on the world...or the other way around. Decided to live alone on the cruel streets of Dagupan, giving up family, friends, work, honor and her cellphone. Giving up the daily routines of grooming and took the concept of simplifying life to the most simple of simplicities.

Very interesting people, really. Robin Williams once portrayed one of these people existing even in rich America in the movie The Fisher King, of course with a better storyline fit for Hollywood consumption. But, really, they are the same. They are real people we encounter daily on our way to work, school, church. Everyone sees them on the streets, yet try to ignore them.

We pretend to be a caring people especially during a natural disaster like Cosme, joining civic groups to organize relief operations to help other normal people who lost their roofs, their homes. We lend a hand so that these unfortunate people can go back to their daily normal lives...

Hehe, nice one. Mga "taong grasa" ng Dagupan will never be normal again. Forever they will remain as the "conscience of our society" and remain just that. Just a conscience.

I shoot them with my camera, yes, because I am quite fascinated by them, probably like that weird girl who studied bears I saw on Discovery Channel. I do not intend to suggest a solution or movement like Pay It Forward and stumble into Trevor's grandma, another Hollywood "taong grasa". I do not intend to start a care home for them. Shouldn't this be what DSWD should be doing anyway? Or was it the Philippine Mental Health in Arellano-Bani Street?

But somehow at least, because of my verbal chance encounter with Eva Tot, I was able start my first blog, another obsession I was trying to start. Finally I had something to write about. Forgive me if I got carried away a little bit and sort of created a short story.... I'm an art photographer, not a writer.

And what did it cost me? 15 pesos and a pair of old maong pants. Cheaper than GSM Blue.